get me by babe

I managed to ask dad and mom if I could use the laptop/internet today since I have no homework to do and well- as you can see, it worked. I'm utterly sad about 5 things.

1. There is a fitness test tomorrow, we'll get to that later.
2. I miss the pictures I have which are probably gonna be deleted when dad reformats my laptop. (thank god for facebook- just right now, don't ask)
3. Wasting exactly 30 minutes watching the movie skyline, which sucks.
4. That Valentine's day is the worst thing ever and it's not even a holiday!
5. Me being bipolar is a very sad thing.

1.

Yes, a fitness test tomorrow for PE and I've gained alot of weight- as in alot. The problem with having a fitness test tomorrow is not that I've put on weight but how the girls and the guys will judge when they hear it, hear it how? well, my dear readers- imagine your teacher being a speaker phone. done? yeah just about that.

Yes, why would she do- oh my god, let us all take our time and try to admire vee and her gif. It's the cutest thing ever and it's my favorite gif. Done? k, anyway- why would she do that? she is ruining our social lives.

2.

sad die me. no pictures, no nothing. my blog has been full of words and it's been boring you hasn't it? well, I don't blame you- not only you are bored of the words, I've also been bored. pfft

5.

this is me.. and my bipolar-ness. 

my gifs always have the same background it's making me crey.

I guess that's all I have to blog about.

mind = blank.

can't wait for the 20th, hope it'll be fun and for another weekend.

xx,

veetahgen.

I'm slipping

I haven't been blogging because, I just... I haven't been ready to blog. Not about anything- I just don't. Look, you don't wanna be here, DON'T. No one is stopping you.


I told myself that I'd find a good blogskin, no harm done but NO- I have to be a perfectionist and keep looking for one. I also told myself today that I WOULD BLOG and it has to be what I've been missing to blog. 

So what's been up? Pretty much plenty of stuff. I can't remember some of the things I was gonna blog. Oh god, I feel so old. Uh, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.

Okay.

My grandfather's death anniversary.
I have photos but it's all in mom's camera and she's always busy with work and decorations for her activity room. I really am sorry my blog hasn't been having any photos recently. I know it's so uninteresting to read a blog with no photos but seriously- I don't even wanna care. 

Anyway, this will be a short story. I spent it at my godmother's house- whole family came and some friends of my godmothers. Someone I hate also came- DAT BIATCH. Yeah, we played mahjong- the adults did and I mostly just... watched. I think mahjong is fun- my whole family knows how to play it except for the kids I mean. While the adults played mahjong the kids played xbox- BLACK OPS with my baby cousins. 

Hui Tien's birthday.
NO ONE I LOVE SPENDS THEIR BIRTHDAY ALONE AND SAD. Even though it's a last minute thing and wouldn't be so great. 

After school:-

• went to grab money from mom.
• rode in Stephanie's car to head to her house.
• dropped by Supa Save to grab some stuff.
• then went to Stephanie's house.
• chit-chatted about certain stuff.
• left at 2 something.
• arrived at Gadong- ate at food court.
• waited for Tien to come.
• went to her shop, waited and Stephanie bought some stuff.
• THENNNN we went- where ah? Arcade!
• played the basketball thing and the match game thing. lul
• took some photos in the booth- which by the way hated us. it kept lagging.
• aftuuurr that, we went to eat junks in food court. 
• talked.
• went to grab the photos from the arcade.
• went window shopping- ohhh gladiators. that's what we talked about!
• bought chocolatesss
• me rushing home, looooooooool ;)

Did I mention about the whole class decoration thing? no- okay. 

what's really up? I still love him but I think he still loves her. 

no seriously. 

I don't understand Thursday. It half hates me- I HATED TODAY.

If today was a person..

yes, I'm that pissed today.

I don't know if I should say sorry.

RECENT PHOTOS ASAIC (as soon as I can) and I ptomise to blog properly soon.

vee.

you can't deny the truth

Blog still under construction. Read to understand why it's taking so long, skip 5 paragraphs. ;)

First day of school? meh, not bad. 

I was seriously planning on having a fresh, slightly quiet and legit year but noooo- some of my classmates are just so dumb and had to choose me as the class assistant monitor. what do you guys not get when I say "please, don't nominate or vote for me as monitor OR anything that involves class committee." 

But what is done is done and I ain't even mad. I'm just saying, it doesn't hurt to listen to me once in a while what I'm mad about is when the guys were just- let's not jump into conclusions. As you know or not, my laptop is dead and I only will use a laptop slash internet during weekends- it's no hard feelings, just a new year resolution thing and I promised to focus and make my one priority my studies. I don't wanna get caught up in other things that don't matter- lol, that's so bitchy. Read it but not in a bitchy kind of tone. 

I kicked the class doors today, what was wrong with that? The door lock itself was broken, and the people inside the class were the same people from last year- they know how bad ass I can get. People got shocked though and the guys just stared at me like whut or it's cause they didn't recognize me with the hair and all. LIKE WTF, steph and xinjie screamed- like seriously ahhhhhhh. Freaked me out, I don't know why so many people reacted to the hair style. It's just a hairstyle.. nothing different just- yeah. Though Afy said it looked like I was going to attend prom. :o DO I? DO I? DOOOOOOOOOOOOO I? most people didn't even recognize me. whuuuuuuuuuut?

Yup, then the girls and I just joked around. Talked about people and stuff- steph was so dumb at first, she had no clue who teacher chang was. Everyone knew- except her. HOW DUMB IZAT?  Then we had the whole orientation thing, people voted me as assistant monitor with with with with him. him, who I might- MIGHT still have a slight feeling for. That was one of the reason I wasn't ready to go to school but it's cool- I won't let it get the best of me. I can work it out.

Assembly was kinda okay, boring but HE HE HE, it's when; Afy, Aaron, Z and Vee went up on stage got a little interesting. I had to sit in front with him and other monitors/assistants. It was weird considering I NEVER sit front. Then yeah. Long story short, I only tell what I remember. :3

Also, sorry for privating my blog- I wanted to edit the blogskin but everything just doesn't work out for me. Simple and plain will do for now, until I get a new laptop and a non-lazy bone to partner up with my lazy bone. Unfortunately, there's school tomorrow but I'm hoping it'll go good.

I'll post pictures of today, soon. fingers crossed. ;)

much love, 
vee. x.

Asian family gathering, ftw.

There are people who just change you entirely

I guess I'm entirely sorry for the lack of updates, December, not only for me but for everyone else is quite a busy month. I'm sure you all agree to that. Anyway, here's the update I've been meaning to blog about.

This was during the preparation for my uncle's 50th golden birthday party. We were somehow called the "D wonder sons, nieces and nephews" why? oh god, cause we dance Nobody & Lollipop. Laugh all you want, what choice did I have?

The birthday was unforgettable, it wasn't so well planned but it still ended up to be amazing. There was 5 good things that happened: 

• I managed to get a new dress. shut up.
• I didn't get embarrassed for dancing with my 12-13 year old cousins.
• My grandmother & aunt Leah (who I haven't seen since.. well, ages) came and will be staying until March.
• My dad and mom decided that we could stay/sleep at Mangrove Paradise Resort, so we checked in.
• The birthday celebration didn't end just there but more of that later.

I didn't take pictures during the night, we slept at around 2am?

• woke up at 7am
• enjoyed the scene then went to Auntie Vangie & Uncle Noel's room
• chit chatted, took photos and prepared for breakfast
• ate breakfast. Nasi Lemak, ftw
• took out decorations from the restaurant
• went swimming for 4-5 hourse, no, I no have duh sunburn
• the last picture, after swimming and showering. 
• might be spending New Year's there.

• Dad picked us up at 12.30 from Mangrove
• sent Auntie Leah & Grandmom to Auntie Lisa's house
• went Gaydong
• Got my contacts
• Ate at Food court, Jollibee! <3 and met up with Stephy
• Saw Ht, the Chinese Mafia Boss :) (A)
• Chit-Chatted with her for an hour maybe?
• Went to Face Shop, got forced to wear Eye liner and buy an eye liner
• Ate Fondue at Swensen, TWICE
• went earring shopping
• drank Nemo while dad, Nigel and mom ate

• My baby cousins wanted to play PS3, so we slept over at there house
• slept at midnight
• chatted with Ate Cel about Ek
• doesn't the picture explain what we did? &
• The picture looks funny right? It looks like nothing changed, except the light passing through the window

• Around 3PM, we all decided to have ASIAN GATHERING at mall
• we had our dinner at food court, many many many food :3
• so, my cousins (Nate, Josh, Karen, Kathy) and I decided that we should take a photo in the booth- the one inside the Arcade, so we took a photo
• 20 minutes later we got the result and we all shared it equally
• when we showed it to the older people, they kind of.. liked it
• so the WHOLE family decided to go INSIDE the arcade
• HA HA HA, it was so funny, everyone was staring at us
• and the woman behind the desk got a little annoyed, she wouldn't even smile. fcker
• we all got one each, different pictures each
• then the last picture, uh, there's three photo's where we were at Jerudong Park (yesterday)

• we couldn't play any rides cause we arrived there at 10.30PM
• we dropped by kaling shop and bought drinks & food
• then we walked to the huge diamond place with the fountain and we took photos there
• took plenty of photos, played at playgrounds
• took MANY photos
• MANY MANY MANY photos (some ares still in the camera & with ninong [godfatherrrrr] buboy)
• after all the running around, talking, laughing, eating we decided to go home - it was nearly midnight
• before we went home of course, the younger ones (my cousins) played the human snake & ladder game, that took 10 minutes
• dropped by uncle Noel's house to get out clothes and PS3
• then went home

I'm sorry if you don't get any of the stuff or don't care about any of what I just blogged but then again I don't care what you think (A) :) kthanx. 

I might be sleeping at my Aunt Lisa's house today. :) If my parents ever get home. -.-

vee.

quick whut

Update as soon as I get home with my laptop. :(

been having tons of sleepover.

In reply to veena 's post.

• she's pretty
• she's honest
• she's witty
• she has an amazing smile
• she's funny
• she's amazing
• she's fun to be with
• she's caring
• she's her
• and  I love her for that
• she's beautiful even though she just shows 10 % of herself
• she's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute
• and no matter what, she has an amazing personality
• and also, no one can replace her
• she might not be so tall
• or she might think she's not beautiful but she is

I JUST HAD TO. Blogged just for that.

Yesterday

• My uncles 50th birthday. GOLDEN bitch
• Slept last minute at Magrove Paradise Resort
• Phone call with Calvin Jong <3

Today

• Swam at Mangrove Resort
• sunburn -.-
• Mall with mom, Nigel & Stephy <3
• Shooppping
• Got contacts now, so hard getting used to it, no colour k?
• had to BUY and WEAR eye liner.
• Promised Stephy and mom that I wouldn't say no to there modifications
• found out that I might curl my hair before christmas.

Right now

• At my cousins house
• Had 3 days straight of family time <3
• Grandma's here btw! and auntie Leah (haven't seen her for ages)
• Playing Ps3 and shit with my cousins!
• LOVERRRR IT

At cousins house, playing. ;)
will edit tomorrow when I get home and post pictures soon.

P.S: WELCOME BACK EM SHAMS!

vee.

diffuse wuman

How do you know if you're really making a mistake? 

Hectic. Hectic. Hectic. Hectic. This month is very hectic- been busy with dancing, preparing for my uncle's 50th golden birthday party and stuff. He's 50; he plays Call Of Duty, Black Ops and plays nerf guns. How awesome is that? Thought I'd just mention it. :)

Anyway, Not much to tell right now. Same old same old and people are enjoying their holiday at Singapore, KK, KL and shit. I don't really mind but I do admit I feel so lonely and pathetic here with no friends to hang with. What can I do right? it's usually one of the perks of December. 

I am kind of having fun though, eating junk food all day with my parents, cousins and relatives. :) Like yesterday, I had Brownies and Mee Goreng as my dinner then just today we had Pizza for dinner. (A) Loverred it <3 

I am also kind of having some problems, not family, not love or life or friends just some kind of other problem. It's kind of hard to explain, I'm not making sense right now am I?

k.

nerf

nerf

nerf

nerf

nerf

NERFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

mameh and dadyo vain-ing with me :)

Daddyoh <3

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFF-UH!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

aside from Ryan, Rupert and Joseph.

I'm learning a lot of dancing from Poreotix.

Pictures you've missed somehow.

vee.

with a bang I go

you.

There comes a time in our life where mistakes just turn into a routine, an everyday thing and the pain doesn't affect you anymore.. but there also comes a time in a certain day in a certain moment someone comes along and turns that routine upside down. Puts a smile in our face, tells us everything is going to be just fine or if you're lucky that someone will share that pain with you. throughout it all.

2010 is coming to an end, true. Memories made, mistakes causes, life changed, dramas written but through it all each one of us gained a little some of those. Others found love, peace at heart, forgiveness, friendship and so far found.. themselves. I admit that the middle of 2010 was a very emotional time for me but as usual.. December seemed to have brought me back up.

I'm grateful for many things this year.

• friends. new friends and old friends, for growing closer and not apart.
• for love. for having to fall in, fall out and fall in between. 
• for family, for having them around. for the love they give.
• for life itself, even though I felt as if my life was suppose to be mine. I am still grateful.
• though I am ungrateful for bad results AND maths.

2011. 

• I would like to make a difference. Change someone, something small. since I've never done that..
• not be a complete failure or disappointment.
• I would really like not to falter, give up or anything.
• to achieve something. save, buy things I want and stuff I want.
• mature incredibly. 

I am grateful for my family, for they have stuck with me through it all. For not putting me down.. For forgiving me. Also grateful for friends, new and old. Despite me being an annoying and stubborn girl.. they've, you've all taught me many new things and thank you for being around through the dramas and annoying mood swings. For that I am, most grateful. For both my family and friends.

Stephanie M. Chun Mei Mei

• Thank you for the everlasting love you've given. For sticking with me even though I've been a complete and idiotic immature best friend. You've been my friend for 8 years, 2011 is our 9th year and I'm grateful for having to meet you. Always grateful. I hope you'll forgive me for anything I've done in the past or I'm going to do in the future. With you I have earned not a only a friend, not only a best friend, not only a classmate, not only a childhood friend but a sister too. :) I hope you know how amazing you are and no matter what you should'nt let anyone bring you down. You're amazing, just the way you are. I love you and Thank you again, for being there when I need you.

Lim Xin Jie

• You've been a good friend to me, for always being there when I need you. You've been someone who I can run to when I'm down and I'm grateful for that. I hope you know that too much bad words can kill, hahaha! (A) AND YES, I've given up saying so much bad words. I still love you no worries. :) Thank you for being the psycho in my life story.

Hui Tien Ngu

• boobs. boobs. boobs, why are yours so comfortable? I'm kidding, no wait, am I? 0:) I love you Tien for helping me out always, for comforting me when I'm down. Thank you for always being there, for the sarcasm you teach me everyday. Thank you for teaching me to be a tough person.

Tyler Eugene M.

• I don't get why you have to be bisexual, it's not that I don't like bisexual guys but you know me.. parents.. friends. They tend to judge and I don't want to drag you into that kind of drama. Thank you for being around during the dark times, for the sad moments. baby, I love you.

Lynne Liew

• Cookie, I love you. :) Thank you for helping out during that day.. the day I told.. yknow. ;) I'm grateful for being friends with you. For everything you've said and done for me. Thank you.

Dong Kai Ti

• BAMF. ish. (L) he's evil and he's always trying to make me unwanted but despite everything he loves me. He's always there to make joke and make me laugh but he's still a bizth. T^T makes me wanna punch him sometimes but he understands me and I'm grateful for that. Ever since the year started he's been around, helping just not showing. And bro, thank you for making me laugh and teaching me to be a wuman. ;)) YOU'RE THE BOY OUR MAMA'S WARN US ABOUT.

EK. 

• from a stranger to a classmate to friend to close friend to a guy  who became my first love. Thank you for still being my friend even though you found out the feelings I had for you. You've taught me so many things.. for everything you've said to me. Thank you for smiling at me each day and giving me a reason to get up in the morning and god.. go to school. For pushing me to study harder and try to accomplish something in my life. I've let go but I still love you.

Calvin Jong

• What can I say about you? I love your attitude. I love you strong personality. I love you. I'm sorry I've never managed to help you with your problems but you've always helped me with mine and comforted me through it all. Thank you. 

Hazimah a.k.a Ms. Donut

• Thank you for the hugs. The smiles you've given me, the stories and secrets you've shared. I've learnt a lot from you and honestly, before we became friends.. truth was, I disliked you. It wasn't a bad thing, I disliked you because people liked you for who you were (and still are). You were funny, witty, sexy, beautiful and amazingly interesting.. I guess out of envy I didn't like you but I do now okay? I love you. More than ever and it's amazing how much you've managed to stay strong all this time and I admire you for that. 

Alveena Chiuh

• I've said this so many time. I've typed it so many time. I've thought it so many time. Okay, now that sounded really weird. What I'm trying to say is, you're amazing veena. You're cute in every way, you've an amazing personality. You don't have to be anyone to impress anyone, if they don't accept you for who you are then they don't deserve to know you at all. Thank you for the endless advices, for listening to me always. I love you and I hope you never change. 

Karmina Dionisio

• I LOVE YOU. end of story. Always there when I need you, always keeping communication, bringing life in mine. Thank you. You're my rocker, my shorty my wife? loljk brah. 

Jackie Kong

• You bring light into my dark and dim life. I'm glad to have met you this year. You're funny and I love your attitude. :)

I guess I just wanted to say it for one last time. To this people who cared so much this year, for making me feel loved, cared at and important. Thank you and I love you guys for everything.

vee.

shut up

What makes you think we're not the same? 

We both want to be extraordinarily different, doesn't that both make us the same?

I saw this picture.. somewhere and this. is. not. okay.

Let me ask you one thing: what's wrong with being gay or being a lesbian or maybe a bisexual or whateversexual? There's nothing wrong with that, I mean I'm catholic true and god only made man and woman but if god didn't judge the gays or the lesbians or the bisexuals and didn't kill them off.. What makes you think you have the right to judge or to kill them off? 

I think gay, lesbians and bisexuals have their own rights and should live the way they want to. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am, no judging.

Anyway, I got my report card today and I have to say.. I'm quite satisfied with what I got. My only huge fail was maths and that was no big surprise. I've been doing that for a looooong time but I promised my parents that next year I'll take tuition and will try getting a higher mark. Which I will do by the way. (A)

I got 8th position in class and no surprise again Keng got 1st followed by Steph. I'm so jealous of smart-ass people. 

I guess that it for the day since nothing else seem to be happening lately, just staying home.. internet, PS3, internet, PS3, television, shower, PS3, internet.. it's pretty much like my holiday routine and will be specially when S and X go for the Christmas holidays. NOOBS!

I know the people who hate me, the people who dislike me, the people who don't give a damn. 

idgaftyvm, so don't rub into my face that you have so much friends.

going out tomorrow with momma, Sharon and Steph. :3 

cause X is leaving.. :(

vee.

pursuit of happyness.

I'm a teenager,

I'm not anybody,

I'm not pretty,

I'm just your ordinary teenage girl and I..

I'm happy.

I'm still in pursuit of happyness.

I'm merely a 16-year-old teenager, I have mood swings, unbelievable disappointing school results, a large amount of rumors going about that I'm a lesbian, have an emo-cute-unbelievable loving friends who during the holidays' don't call but still lovely anyway and bunch of other idiotic things that a normal teenage girl has to go through. I'm normal, I hate to admit it but it's true and I have no choice but to accept that.

I'm young, immature and I don't know what I'm doing or saying most of the time. I'm sad, depressed and lonely half of the time and that's normal, I've accepted that fact. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we're teenagers, we tend to feel sad and have feelings we can't explain. It's normal, it is.

I have a baby brother and older brother (bad idea to post his picture) that love me and I love them.

Parents who never go and make me feel unloved. Only help me do nothing but find my way.

sexy sisters who help me with things I can't do. :)

two biffles that I'll shoot once I see but still love.

Friends that give a damn. 

"viel = (R)"  -Em Shams. 

"even if you do live in a cage you'd still be the most updated person ever which makes you "I-live-in-cage-with-a-super-high-tech-satellite-dont-play-play" -Ht.

"you're like music vee. you make us cry, laugh, sometimes both but you can't do that if you're always sad" -Amy.

"you're a bitch, an awesome bitch" -Ty.

Syafick. :p

except Samuel and ahem.



I love you guys.

Friends I'm glad to have come closer to this year. :')



Jackie. :)



Wen Mee and Regina, I don't know where her photo went. -.-



Muzzeh & Mirin

so I'm an average teenager but I can be anyone you make me to be. 

I suddenly had the urge to make this post because I'm slightly afraid of what people are assuming, I'm not some mental, emo girl all the time. I have reasons and I don't always tell the whole story cause you gotta admit, no one cares about what you're going through.. not unless they're really your friends. I'm not trying to offend anyone or hurt feelings but I make slight sense don't I?

And mind you, I fell in love with him. Then learnt that I should let go of him if I love him.

Whatever, I'm high.
I'm ordinary, right?
right.

I'm a rainbow, I'm a rainbow, I'm a rainbow mutherfuqcka! :))

NO UPDATED PICTURES.

I'm still grounded but it's okay.

vee.

no backing down

You're not gonna read the words right? 

well, what can I say?

I have photos, lazy upload.

You know, I'm actually kinda liking the whole not going to school thing. I mean yeah, I miss my friends and I'm always bored as hell at home but it's kinda worth it. I'm having so much solitary time, thinking; yus, I have been thinking but no meditation lately.. I don't think I should do that, not until I calm my fucking negativity thoughts. 

Anyway, I've been watching Veronica Mars. I watched the whole 3 season and I learnt quite a few things from the tv series. 

• I learnt that the character and I are quite nosy, we don't like being curious and we will always try to figure out the truth.
• We both have "reputations", well obviously her reputation is much better and bigger than mine but I can't help but notice that.
• We both act all happy but inside we're hiding something.
• We have nutty personalities, bitchy but nice. "Melly" and stuff.

And other stuff you're not interested in, she's talented though and she has on/off different boyfriends every season. She's whoreible and yes, I am too but in a whole different way. What was I going to blog about today? I completely forgot, short-term memory loss remember. Uh, it was something about change. C'mon brain... 

OH, I was thinking about it. I don't really have something one calls "serious problem", I'm not mental.. well I am but not literally, I'm not trying to get my parents attention (they give me enough k?), I don't need so much attention and shit. My point is I should stop being emu for a while, people have worst problems than I do, I guess I've been depressed and down cause of the shame and the feeling of disappointment but I can solve this "problem" by studying hard and stuff. I figured that emu-ing will have no effect.

From now on, I'm just gonna be anti-depressed though I must say.. I might wear emu/loner clothing for quite a period of time. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this, I guess as a reminder to myself. I want to make this change official. I'm gonna try to be happy, change but not change so much, be single and not care or like anyone for the moment. That's... that. 

You don't care, it's okay. It's worth typing it all out though reading it again makes me think I don't make sense. bah, I don't keh. :)) 

For now, I don't exist. I need solitary but I'm around, talk to me when you want to.

vee.

never shine again

I'm waiting for a train,

a train that will take me far away,

I know where I hope this train will take me...

but I'm not sure; 

but it doesn't matter.

because it'll take me far away anyway.

Have you ever thought of running away sometimes? or perhaps thought of suicide? I have. I think of it when things get rough and I often do, not just once or twice but more than I can remember. I've pretty much lost count. I'm such a hypocrite you know, I often tell people don't do this and don't do that but I myself do it anyway. That's why I tell people "it's up to you" cause things I say could be lies or in the end I myself would do it.

I'm afraid of myself, I'm afraid to stop and think for a minute because I know my thoughts would get a hold of me and torture me in the very depths of my mind. The negativity would swallow me whole and everything I thought was positive would disappear in a matter of seconds. That's how dangerous my mind is, I admit to myself, no, not just to myself but to everyone who knows me that I am a quite troubled person. For those who have always known, well, kudos.

My brother got his PSR results yesterday, 2A's 2B's 1C. I'm proud of him, he got a much better result than I did. I am ashamed, I don't hide that fact. I'm ashamed that my baby brother was better than his older sister but past is past and there is nothing I can absolutely do about it. I was utterly happy for him, I was but during the night when we went to sleep... I tossed and I turned and just let myself drift deep within my mind. That was a big mistake.

I cried myself to sleep yesterday night, slept at exactly 3AM. You want to know why? of course you don't. 

Just a while ago, X and I were talking about results. I could hear the disappointment bells real loud. My results are all so disappointing, I didn't even get a 60. I know, I haven't been studying well enough and I don't know why either but my maths, 8 over 80, that's something I can't take in. My parents are okay with the 53 and above thing in other subjects but 8, eight, fuck eight. What the hell is the matter with me? 

So you see, it doesn't matter if you got 50 or 40 in maths or whatever subject, I've never passed maths ever since I was primary 5. I've never gotten higher than. period. I don't know if I'm going school tomorrow.

I might not be around after I show my dad my maths, we shall see. 

I don't believe in lost causes.
vee.

kicked to the corner

I haven't seen you in a long time. 

I'm not going to school tomorrow again. 

sadlife.

I miss my friends.

I miss.. god, i miss talking.

I got 53 in Chemistry.

That sucks. 

I can hear disappointment.

I love you and I miss you.

and I hope you  know that. :(

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is love.

vee.

starlit eyes

I spent 4 fucking hours. 

guess doing what.

trying to figure out why I couldn't log in msn and guess why I couldn't log in, well it's like this. Msn fucking blocked my email, why? FACEBOOK emails to many notifications.

Bloody hell.

Oh shit. I change my mind about wanting to go to school tomorrow, I seriously am changing my mind. I just.. I just ain't up for school even if we aren't going to do any studying. Plus, there's results. God, results. I don't want results at the moment. I'm stressed out with other stuffs and results are just.. please no. 

I'm not waiting for anything to happen cause let's admit it, there's nothing going to happen in our everyday lives. We're normal, teenage people unless of course drama follows you around or you attract it or just want it. whatever, I'm sorry for being a bitchy, negative person here.. I haven't meditated and I'm pissed off. Kind of.

I want to chop her tongue off. bitch. ho'. 

Anyway, I watched inception plenty of times today and I just realized that I love it and I've declared it my favorite (forever favorite) movie film. :)) I've added three new things in my addiction list. Tom Hardy, Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh my, I drool. So now, I go crazy for: tattoos, violins, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo Dicarpio, Greek Gods, Italy, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Kpop, Tom Hardy, Onew and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

Mostly Onew, Ellen Page, Tattoos, Tom Hardy, Italy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. <3

I have to calm the fuck down. I'm talking rubbish, it's the only way. 

favorite. <3

Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

They match, noh?

weird fact ; he was batman?

Tom Hardy!

I LOVE THIS SCENE and that part where he defies gravity. 

"Paradox" bitch.

if you want inception, you need imagination. 

thus the big gun. hee, I love Tom Hardy.

I drool. Joseph is so.. droolable? :p no such word btw.

my laptop dp. <3

I really wish. :p

I should stop before my hand scrolls to the "Insert image" button. Let's see if I wake up tomorrow. :)) Goodnight and oh. HNNNNG! 4chan sucks right? :((

you have starlit eyes. and I miss those eyes.

vee.