NO. NO. NOOOO.

Question; If I liked a girl, would you still consider me a friend?

not that I do like one, just asking.

This is the thing about December/holidays and me. I tend to enjoy it so much that I never notice my weight anymore. My plan of losing weight over the holidays are pretty much a huge fail because I kenot lose weight! Everyday after dancing, I get so tired/lazy and hungry that I pretty much munch on junk food to restore my energy. I barely notice how much I'm eating and I never did until mom had to go around and say "are you getting fatter?" I was like sdskdjcksmfnmsfdv, you're joking right?

I stared at the mirror for 45 minutes and then checked the.. what's that called, the thing where you check your weight? god, I'm getting dumber too. Yeah, I went to check my weight and bam! I am so not gonna put my weight here, tf.

I know I'm not the type to care about my size and weight but THAT weight is unacceptable even for my mom and brothers. I'm okay with like the weight I had BEFORE school holidays' just not this one. I don't like the one I have now, so I've decided to cut on food - though it's kind of hard with all the chocolates my big brother brought back from Philippines. I guess I have to try harder.. especially after dancing.


Anyway, yeah. My big brother's here for 16 days. That's the update that you get for today, editing wishlist and adding:- 

• sack boy doll
• sack boy keychain
• sack boy shirt
• Poreotix shirt made and non-made
• Final Fantasy 13, PS3 game
• that pink hand bag, yes hang bag from Hua Ho Manggis
• iTouch (or was that there already?)
• B.R.W <3
• anklets
• Patrick Star collection :3
• date for dance crew gathering, say whut?

k. pictures soon. with love.

vee.

diffuse wuman

How do you know if you're really making a mistake? 

Hectic. Hectic. Hectic. Hectic. This month is very hectic- been busy with dancing, preparing for my uncle's 50th golden birthday party and stuff. He's 50; he plays Call Of Duty, Black Ops and plays nerf guns. How awesome is that? Thought I'd just mention it. :)

Anyway, Not much to tell right now. Same old same old and people are enjoying their holiday at Singapore, KK, KL and shit. I don't really mind but I do admit I feel so lonely and pathetic here with no friends to hang with. What can I do right? it's usually one of the perks of December. 

I am kind of having fun though, eating junk food all day with my parents, cousins and relatives. :) Like yesterday, I had Brownies and Mee Goreng as my dinner then just today we had Pizza for dinner. (A) Loverred it <3 

I am also kind of having some problems, not family, not love or life or friends just some kind of other problem. It's kind of hard to explain, I'm not making sense right now am I?

k.

nerf

nerf

nerf

nerf

nerf

NERFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

mameh and dadyo vain-ing with me :)

Daddyoh <3

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFF-UH!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

aside from Ryan, Rupert and Joseph.

I'm learning a lot of dancing from Poreotix.

Pictures you've missed somehow.

vee.

obliviate

I'm not a freaking early bird, I'm more of a night owl. DARLING.

I was out half of the day, went for my baby brother's primary 6 graduation ceremony and that ceremony sucked. I'm not kidding and I don't mean any harm to anyone but seriously.. it's the most unplanned ceremony ever. Performances weren't that great and at the end of the ceremony one teacher, not saying who, didn't want to give the certificates. Oh mai god, so many parents complained. 

After the graduation ceremony, we went to Gaydong to watch Harry Potter 7. It was so fucking amazing, uh, not to jump into any conclusions.. we arrived there and by 1.15PM went up to the cinema. :) I wanted to cry even before the movie started. I want Part 2 to come soon but don't want it to come anyway.

When the movie ended, we went home straight away. We were super sleepy. :\  My dad, mom and baby brother wants part 2 to come soon though we are satisfied with the ending.. for now. :)

Dad: *is angry about the ceremony and keeps repeating it until we get home*

Mom: *laughs*

Me: *slaps forehead*

Mom: *keeps laughing* oblivious.

Me & Dad: *looks at each other* whut? *laughs*

Mom: *laughs* ehy, what's that again? 

Me: OBLIVIATE!

Dad: *laughs* you're mom just created a new spell. :p

We're talking spells today. My baby brother and I keep doing scenes from Harry potter 1 to the recent one. I told him that when Fred dies on Part 2.. I'll raise my phone or flashlight then cry. :(  I'm random today, thanks.

 

like this. :)

I wore thights. -.-

baby brother. 

unnecessary pictures to look at. 

hooooot

I really wish Emma and Rupert would just get married. :p

love. ♥

oh the trio. ♥♥♥

vee.

darling

it's called imagination, darling.

I must say, I'm feeling rather peachy today. I mean not very very VERY peachy but a little less emu. If you get what I mean. For some reason, the word "darling" keeps popping in my head. 

It's my baby cousins birthday today but he isn't having his usual birthday party, darling says he's 11 years old now and doesn't need a birthday party but we're still going there for lunch and dinner. He may be 11 years old but he enjoys nerf gun battles with us. :) 

editing later. 

my definition of hate; smile, wave but dislike in your heart. - Amy

Just came from the lunch and dinner thing with my cousins. My body hurts so bad, my uncle and I had a wrestling competition. I lost, he's short, I'm tall but he still beat me. It aches now, gaaaaaaaaaaaaah. We played nerf guns, PSP, played the helicopter remote thing and talked about stuff. :)) 

I'm tired, I don't have much photos. 

dad playing with us.

Birthday boy.

Kathy and Nate.

Karen.

PSP, game sharing! :)

Call of duty bebeh! 

Happy Birthday Joshua! 

I ♥ you.

vee.

you're eyes, so dangerous

"I have a feeling about him" 

is a very very very bad thing to say.

I did nothing today, sat around, slept, ate, showered, watched television. Today was an utterly quiet day, I can't say I don't like the peace and quiet but I do but I don't want to say it. Oh, look, I just typed it and said it in my head. Told you I was bored.

I'm really really sorry I've been way to emu, no, I'm not sorry.. or am I? Nah, I'm half sorry since emu-ing isn't my thing really, I'm usually kind of.. err, happy. I'm half not sorry cause, it's what I feel and what I feel is real. I guess I'm just one of those people who need to type it or write down what I feel. So, no, I'm not sorry for being real. 

Yes, I'm confused too.

Anyway, dad talked to me yesterday. He says he wasn't disappointed or anything, he was just unhappy. I get what he was trying to say, it wasn't a long conversation but he made a lot of sense. I just kept crying. He banned me from going out with friends, just for the moment. He says, I need to learn and that I hang out with friends way to much. I just nodded, nothing else I could say. BUUUT, I will still ask him about the 27th. I want to go for the basketball thing that he's part of plus.. I'm scared of Ht. 

Yup, that's pretty much it. Saturday, I'm home alone. *screams yay inside* oh no. :( trololol. Sunday, is my baby brother's graduation ceremony so I'm going to that cause my mom says I have to plus we're gonna watch Harry Potter 7. I am not freaking missing that bitch. 

After that, I'm going with the flow. 

why? why you so sexy?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt <--- ♥♥
your smile is so adorable. :)

sometimes, I wish you missed me like I miss you.
vee.

kicked to the corner

I haven't seen you in a long time. 

I'm not going to school tomorrow again. 

sadlife.

I miss my friends.

I miss.. god, i miss talking.

I got 53 in Chemistry.

That sucks. 

I can hear disappointment.

I love you and I miss you.

and I hope you  know that. :(

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is love.

vee.

starlit eyes

I spent 4 fucking hours. 

guess doing what.

trying to figure out why I couldn't log in msn and guess why I couldn't log in, well it's like this. Msn fucking blocked my email, why? FACEBOOK emails to many notifications.

Bloody hell.

Oh shit. I change my mind about wanting to go to school tomorrow, I seriously am changing my mind. I just.. I just ain't up for school even if we aren't going to do any studying. Plus, there's results. God, results. I don't want results at the moment. I'm stressed out with other stuffs and results are just.. please no. 

I'm not waiting for anything to happen cause let's admit it, there's nothing going to happen in our everyday lives. We're normal, teenage people unless of course drama follows you around or you attract it or just want it. whatever, I'm sorry for being a bitchy, negative person here.. I haven't meditated and I'm pissed off. Kind of.

I want to chop her tongue off. bitch. ho'. 

Anyway, I watched inception plenty of times today and I just realized that I love it and I've declared it my favorite (forever favorite) movie film. :)) I've added three new things in my addiction list. Tom Hardy, Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh my, I drool. So now, I go crazy for: tattoos, violins, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo Dicarpio, Greek Gods, Italy, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Kpop, Tom Hardy, Onew and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

Mostly Onew, Ellen Page, Tattoos, Tom Hardy, Italy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. <3

I have to calm the fuck down. I'm talking rubbish, it's the only way. 

favorite. <3

Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

They match, noh?

weird fact ; he was batman?

Tom Hardy!

I LOVE THIS SCENE and that part where he defies gravity. 

"Paradox" bitch.

if you want inception, you need imagination. 

thus the big gun. hee, I love Tom Hardy.

I drool. Joseph is so.. droolable? :p no such word btw.

my laptop dp. <3

I really wish. :p

I should stop before my hand scrolls to the "Insert image" button. Let's see if I wake up tomorrow. :)) Goodnight and oh. HNNNNG! 4chan sucks right? :((

you have starlit eyes. and I miss those eyes.

vee.

I look to you

why do good things end?

I did chores the whole day,
had a Harry Potter marathon with my baby brother and...
painted my nails. I'm satisfied with this day.





other than that. nothing. 
so much for holiday. 



I can't wait to see you.
vee.

needs.

I'm trap.

My thoughts are drowning me. 

I need more meditation. I need more focus. I need more solitary time. I need to know what to do. I need to pray. I need to take a vacation. I need to travel. I need something new. I need life. I need to trust. I need the truth. I need happiness. I need to know me. I need, I need you.

vee.

Attraversiamo

The sweetness of doing nothing. 
I will eat then lose 5 kg.
without forcing myself.

I decided to make a really long, random post today. No, today isn't a special day but I still wanted to do this posts. I don't know what it'll be about and I don't know what I might be talking about but if it, in any way, makes you feel uncomfortable then I'm sorry in advance. I'm sure that I never meant to make you feel that way but this is my property.. so, you get where I'm going.

I've found a word that I can finally stick with, Attraversiamo. It's a Italian word meaning Let's cross over, I actually got it from the Eat, Pray, Love book but something about the word is just so alluring and so mesmerizing. Well, that and Vaffanculo meaning fuck off or fuck you.

One word, Italy.

I'm addicted to Italy. The culture, the people, the statues, the ruins, the foods! oh god, don't get me started on the food and even the language. The way it comes out of the mouth, it's so, it's madness! I can't get it out of my head, whenever I think of taking a trip to Italy... I just, I just go insanely crazy that I don't even remember what I was talking about. Italy, perche? perche? why must your be so addicting?

Someday, I shall conquer Italy like Julius Caesar did.  In a hypothetically cause yeah. :) Someday. 

wish on the well.

stroll Italy during the night.

ride through Sicily on boat and taste it's finest foods. ;)

devour a pizza in Naples. :3

visit the Arch of Constantine. I think that's what it's called. :p

and conquer the Colosseum with Sharon. :)

I want to taste the wine, the chocolate, the gelatos' and the breathe the might-be-polluted air of Italy. I'll go there someday, someday. :)

Personally, I think... beaches are bitches. lolwuht? I'm kidding. I'm rambling shit, seriously. I don't know why this post has to be long and why it has to be today.

Exams are going the same as my last post described it. There's no difference, I'm not sure if I did try my best or if I did want to try at all. I won't be sure till exam results come out but until then, I will only focus on trying to be more positive. I've made a list, list of do's and don'ts. 

Do.
Meditate and pray.
Balance myself.
Study as hard as I can.
Learn Italian.
Learn Italy.

Don't.

Think negative.

Do things I shouldn't.

Forget your Do's.

I'm taking baby steps. I'm no Elizabeth Gilbert but I'll try to do it all, speaking of Elizabeth Gilbert! I've read her book 3 times. Not to brag but, it's a good memoir. She really poured herself into the book and it really went out well. :)))


Pictures during Ate Ivy, Ate Jasmine and Ate Sarah's last day in Brunei. I miss them already. ;(

my ever sisters. :))

Sarah, me, Jasmine and Ivy. 

this one is with James.

I'm sleepy now. vaffanculo! 
if you read this, I'm amazed you haven't left yet. ;) Grazie.
Grazie Mille Carino Sconosciuto! Grazie!

imissyouandicantakeyououtofmymind. :( 

what if you were?

then what?

vaffanculo.
vee.