I want you to be my nothing, cause nothing lasts forever.

saranghae bo-ga?

Dad's coming in a few more hours, I'm really sleepy but I don't want to sleep yet and I seriously don't wanna go to school tomorrow which I think might happen. Though if it's moms' mind, you can never predict what she's thinking. :p

I'm kinda afraid to go to the airport later, I'll have to see Nancy and her scary face. Yuh, she's gonna be there to pick up her husband who also just came back from Philippines. Homyshiat! I know now why I don't want to go to school tomorrow, I'm tired... of some shit that someone is giving to me and I really really really really don't want to see Mr.

If he's reading this or any of his 'loyal' students read this, he has no right to get angry. This is my blog and I've got a right to say anything I want in it. He also can't blame me for getting pissy at him. He thinks that EVERYONE is soooo fucking brilliant at mathematics, he even blames me when other people (who sit at the back) fail. ): WELL MR. , it can't ALWAYS be might fault, kay? Why don't you ask them why THEY talk to me? No offence to people but I hate getting blamed for stuff I NEVER do! D: I'm always the one they target, ever since mom started working in Chung Hwa. I hate teachers who are like that. -.-

So Mr. stop being a kiss ass to students that only pass. It's very rude for a teacher to have a 'favourite'. I'm sorry but I just can't say this to you face to face, you might cry to my mom about me again. -.-

I'm done ranting for now. Chocolate and anger don't bode well. ): I'm gonna find something to do.

If you're up and running, please ask me something? (8

Mine. >:D

)': He's so sweet. I love the things he does in Hello Baby. (:

OnewForever.

vee.

it didn't even matter

(8) I tried so hard and got so far.

In the end, it didn't even matter~ (8)

4 days and counting till my birthday and tomorrow is the day dad comes back. Though it's at 1.30AM and mom might not let us go. ): I don't wanna go to school on Wednesday! I don't know why but I just don't want to.

12 over 100. ):

watching hello baby, later.

vee

help is not here yet.

My credit is expired today but it's slightly confiscated.

I want to marry Jesse McCartney, yeknow? (:

I need one hug. A hug that says 'everything will be alright'

Goodnight.

vee.

I'm a sucker for pretty boys.

(8) Parlez-vous francais? konichiwa! come and move it my way~ (8)

I told mom my maths was a fail, just didn't tell her how much I got. She didn't really tell me much, I guess it's cause it's no shock that I failed maths. It's the combined science that I'm afraid they'll get pissed off at, I mean I'm not giving them my test paper but I'm hoping that the results (for the report card) is a pass. I can't bare another lecture of how I don't study enough. Not that I think they're wrong and I'm right, it's just that... It makes me useless and a failure. I don't like feeling more and more of a failure.

But I guess that's how my life story is suppose to go, grow up and feel slightly like shit.

Nothing much today, even my bestfriends are MIA but oh well. It is a holiday and I'm not suppose to deprived them of their freedom. I'm just saying though, I'm bored. I've been reading way to much emo books.

There is 2 more days till dad comes back, well technically 3 cause he'll be arriving at 1AM which is already Wednesday. I'm hoping not to go to school on that day, just you know, I wanna stay home. I also have to tell him my maths result when he comes back and it's also 5 more days till my birthday. I can't wait for the things I asked him to buy though.

Jesse McCartney is sooo prettay. :3

Ego wants. (8

vee.

It's stupid

"I'm afraid of the future.

Then again who isn't? I'm afraid of many things, you guys think that I'm not. Well it's true, I am afraid of many things. Sometimes that fear helps me survive and also at the same time makes me weak. I'm trying to be stronger, stronger than I am now and forever be strong where no one... no one can put me down."

Viel Sia

I'm thinking about the future.

"I'm really getting tired of your quotes"

Peter Burke, White Collar.

How is your day going so far? Mine is going good, I guess. Stayed home the whole day and drew stuff. That's pretty much it, I was gonna go out Sungkai with Zimah and the others but I had no transport cause as you know my dad is in the Philippines until Wednesday. (8

I decided on giving dad my maths result when he comes back or on Monday either one of those days. He's coming at around 1AM on Tuesday, or something like that. I'm getting ready to say bye to my phone, my internet privileges and my free time at school. ):

I don't like it but I have to, I can't do much about it. I might not always update my blog so I apologize in advance, do leave me messages or questions though. (:

I'm also hoping that it won't ruin my birthday. ): I don't want my parents disappointed on my birthday, it's like feeling my parents regretting ever giving birth to me. If you get what I mean though my parents are forgiving, they might just ground me and push me to study more harder which I WILL TRY to do. My parents don't hold grudges so yeah, I just really want it to be a good 16th birthday.

vee.

then we realize, reality is bigger

If you love somebody, put your hands up

and wish you can give them everything.

26th August 2010

It was that. (: I loved the trip alot, it took half of the stress I had even though I knew that it would all come back after. So let's start from the beginning, we were at school which was my last update and we weren't at all worried or sad. We were very hyper even though I failed my mathematics. ): I got 12 over 50, it doesn't really surprise me since I've gotten lower than that. We just kept on laughing and smiling anyway.

After school, I went ahead to take my stuff and change then headed back to Steph, Sharon and xinZaii then we waited for Auntie Jennifer. (: So while we waited we chit-chatted about stuff like... the hostage taking in the Philippines. Then auntie came to pick us.

We stopped by at Supa Save to buy some junk food for the night, we bought loaaaaaaaaaaads of stuff. Actually, pretty much Steph took most of the food, I just kept saying 'up to you' and her hands acted as if it was magnet. AUTOMATICALLY. >:p We bought our lunch outside of Supa Save, Millennium was on sale. :3 I ate those hot dog burger thing with xinZaii and Steph ate fish burger while Sharon watched. Then we prepared to leave for Steph's house.

We ate at her house, her house is awesome. Been to it alot of time but never actually been inside it. :p We ate there and so did Auntie Jennifer; Sharon, xinZaii and I chit-chatted while Steph prepared to get her stuff and change her clothes.

Off we went to Empire. (8

Arrived at Empire, checked in then settled in.

Auntie: What if this was your school?

*Me, Sharon, Steph & xinZaii stare at each other*

Me: omg, if this was our school--

Steph: we wouldn't mind staying here!

xinZaii: yahhh!

Sharon: like Hogwarts!

HAHAHHAHA, yeah we kept imagining it but unfortunately, it ain't ever gonna happen. ): Anyway, we arrived into our room, got settled in real good. VAINED in the room, it's weird cause I seriously never vained before but what to dooooooo. When a girl is turning sixteen, she just has to. yknow?

...oh Aaron, you say nigga too much! D: HAHAHA, watchin' his video.

Sharon decided to take a shower after auntie left so we waited for her cause we wanted to get out of the room to do something, so we did. We were choosing between bowling or taking a stroll around the beach. Eventually, we chose to go walk around the beach.

strolled.

vained.

vained.

shell hunting.

ran around.

joked.

dipped our feet in the water.

vained.

Then we went back into the room cause we were tired and dinner was almost near, so we slacked around waiting for time to pass. Showered, watched TV and then around 6 plus we went on for dinner. OHMY, dinner was really good. (8

After dinner, went to watch a movie with the gals. We watched Grown Ups... again. :p It was really really good, even though I watched it for the second time; I still kept laughing like fuck man. Then we walked back to the room, waited for xinZaii's parents. Watched the TV and then something something something then xinZaii HAD to go home. ): haihs.

Me and Sharon slept around 11 while Steph slept at 12 midnight. >:p we were planning on staying up late but we were REALLY REALLY sleepy and tired.

27th August 2010

We woke up around 7 or 8AM but I woke up around 5AM cause Steph kept on slapping me with her hands. DAMN HER, she kept pushing me off the bed too. What kind of person sleeps like that? loljk babi, my brothers sleep like that too. I'm very used to it. I still managed to sleep anyway, so that's good enough for me. (;

So I woke up to the sounds that Sharon and Steph were making, sniffing and getting ready to get shower. They were even planning to slap me. >:)

*skip skip skip*

Then we walked to the lobby and took our breakfast. IT WAS SO NYUMMY. :> After our breakfast, Sharon actually dared to go and play the grand piano but not that long cause the waitress there said we weren't allowed to touch it.

HMPF. We took a stroll around the lagoon area and then VAINED. again. (8 got tired so ran back to the room.

*skip* watched, ate PODS, played pillow fight, tickle fight then *skip* took photos and ordered room service. <3>

OH. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. I'm SOOOOOO TIRED. D':

PHOTOS ARE ALL HERE! <-- CLICK!

vee.

someday, take me away.

Type.
Erase.
Type.
Erase.

3rd time I did it now.

This is actually my 3ooth post. Last night would've been my 3ooth post but I didn't bother to come back. I got a little lazy cause I had to take care of Candy and Rafy at the same time. At computer lab at the moment and as usual sitting beside Steph and hiaoZaii xinZaii.

...I'm waiting for time to like fast forward to our time in Empire. Time is kinda running slow right now.

I hope it's gonna be a good day. :3 I need it to be a good day, I need a break for a while. I wish someone could take me away somewhere, anywhere. I just need a break, yknow? And we might get out Mathematics results today. ): I feel like shit even when I haven't received it yet, probably cause I know I'll fail either way.

People are saying that I'm always putting myself down nowadays, which I admit, is quite true but I don't have much choice now do I since I am a failure. See there goes that negative thought again. Tyler said that I've been taking everyone's negativity and giving out my positivity. He says I've been giving alot of it. >:) that's why I love him. He says the sweetest thing ever.

...I'm a silly joke. >.<

I'm gonna head out now, don't know if I'll blog tonight, I promise to take maaaaany pictures with my bitches. HEHE.

I wish.. I wish Steph would just tell me what she's hiding from me. >:(
and to the person who asked me in formspring who I like.. Ask me in person and I'll tell you. (:
Stop running away from me. ): I didn't do anything wrong. I never told you, I deleted 'that' and I just want to be your friend even if it means getting hurt. OKAY?

P.S I'm still in love with you and will always be.
Someday, take me away.

vee.

wish I could rewrite our story.

People said I walked like I was being raped. >:)

Cand-ehhhh! (8

Got our new dog, Candy. >:)

When we arrived home, she settled in one place and was quite shy.

Fed her some stuff. (:

Mom gave her a shower and now she looks brand new. <3> HEHE, so cute ah.

I'll be back. >:p

P.S I'm still not over you. <3

vee.

less afraid.

I believe in the saying, keep your friends closer and your enemies closer.

It's not fun when you're the

last to know

something about your friend

or your goodfriend

and most importantly your bestfriend.

Close enemy?

I use to have moments where I thought everyone revolved around me and should revolve around me. I only realized that wasn't true when people rarely told me about what was happening in their lives and what was happening with anyone. That's when I decided to live in a cave, my own personal world made up in my head. I wouldn't come out cause nobody cared, nobody cared whether or not I was still alive in that world. I started hating everyone around me, anyone that tried entering and polluting that world I lived in. I hated everyone.

...I seriously did. I do from time to time too.

So I do understand how you feel, hiding in your world won't help. Most people think I'm a hypocrite and I keep butting into other people's business but for some reason, I could care less sometimes. It's just that thing I usually do. Help others. I've this thing embedded in my head "Be a little nicer to the world and the world might be nicer to you" and that's it. I try being nice to the world. There's no point in being alone, no point in trying to hide what you feel.

Ever since we met, all you ever did was hide. You were that shy and quiet person, never tried to at least talk. Then for some reason, you hated me and I tried asking myself plenty of times what I did wrong.

...until today.

): I'm sorry. You're not alone, when will you get that? I know you're reading this. I know you'll be seeing this. I'm so so so so sorry. I never knew, I just wished you told me a little earlier.

Don't keep yourself locked in a world that's not real, hiding won't help you... at all.

don't go breakin' it, please? <3

can't wait for my time with Sharon, XinZaii & Stephy (:

vee.

duh.

Do you feel my pain now, bitch?

I just don't understand why you have to hate on me when clearly I didn't do anything to you. I may be immature but I never said those things you accused me of. Now don't blame me just cause people are talking about you behind your back.

Feel the pain I get when you talked behind my back.

I did this before. Just wanted to mention it. (:<

Today was just the usual day but Zimah didn't come to school today. ): Sadlife, I wanted to talk about... Thailand! BAHAHAHAH. Everyone was pretty weak due to the Physical Education class we took.

...I find it funny when I type, "Physical Education" instead of "P.E"

Anyway, we were all acting like we were pregnant cause our legs fucking hurt. Everytime we went up the stairs we would make a "uhhhh" or "ahhhh" sound. >:p It was so funneh!

Dad's leaving for Philippines soon, in like 3 more hours or so but before that we have to stop by some places.

I'm not in duh mood to blog. >:p

later.

<3

vee.

up, up and away.

I solemnly swear that

I am up to no good.

Today, oh come on. Today is Monday, since when has my Monday been a good day? It's like the worst day for me. ): I managed to get most of my results today and some, SOME were okay. Biology I managed to get 83 over 100, English 30 over 50 (disappointed very very much), P.O.A 35 over 50 and Bahasa Melayu surprisingly I got 60 over 100.

...18 fucking point 5 for chem. )):

I'm so tired too. ): We had Physical Education and as usual our teacher tried killing us. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? O: She made us run around the field 10 times then jump like some frog inside the basketball court. I could literally hear Keng in his head saying "oh my, embarrassing, stuck with a group of girls who can't even hop." loljk

...he's not mean. <3

Zimaaaaaaaaaah today went to hang with us in class. :3 And she told us the most amazing story, this might make you want to go to Thailand cause I know it makes me wanna go and hug that.. that landform.

She said that there's a penis an vagina in Thailand as a landform! D: Pretty funny right? I'll show you the picture soon. I'd love to see it. :3

I'm lazy to blog, updating my tumblr and "THE LIST" as Aaron would like to call it. (:

someone update me with the hostage thing in the Philippines! D:

SHIT. I miss you. ):

vee.

I'm single but my heart will be forever taken.

I'm single but my heart is taken. (:

I was taking Rafy for a walk. Rafy, is my dog by the way. I was walking and Rafy was doing her business and I've decided to never fall out of love this time. I won't tell him I love him cause of five reasons.

1. He's at that side and I'm on this side.

2. He might already be into someone.

3. We don't know that much about each other.

4. We have a good friendship going on, I won't ruin it.

5. I love him too much for him to hate me.

See? (: So, I won't fall out of love with him. This time I'm sure, okay? (8 Just wanted to make that clear. I love him and I guess that's final, if I change my mind someone please slap me? :D

waaaaaaaaaaalaoooo, 3rd post for the day! D:

wo yao ni.

vee.

sexeh aweshuuum people.

Smile ; you're about to witness sexy. (8 I'm a little bored.

Meet Vee.

I'm not joking when I say she's the #1 sexiest person I know, she literally is. She's funny, nice and very very tough for a pretty girl. She don't give no fuck to nobody, gives awesome advices and cares for her friends.

And this is Kinny.

Dude, how can you not--- forget it. He's hot, he seriously is but not my number one hottest guy lah. :p He's okie okie luh. He haaaaaaaaaaaas muscles. hubbah *drool drool! He's nice and fun to be around with, no joke. He looks like a freak but he's cool. (8

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH, she's so cute right? This ish Vanz. :3

I love this little kid right here, I love raping her. ((: She's the best when you wanna molest someone, loljk. :p She's a nice person, depends on who you are to her though. She's weird and funny. Loves anything that involves rugged stuff. Sexeh guuuuurl, roaaar! :3

You might know her, she's very famous one leh. Meet Zimah a.k.a Em Shams.

kjasdasdf, awesome person! ): awesome-er than me eh. She gives the dope-est hug ever! She smiles and sounds very cute leaaaa. She owns the nickname Ms. Donut and don't give a fuck about what people say about her. You seriously, don't want her to be your enemy. You'll die and lose. I love her, in a friend friend way. :D

She gives good advices about love and life. trust me. She's also in my sexy list.

She. Is. To. Fine. To. Be. Single (:

BEST GIRLFRIEND ANYONE CAN EVER HAVE! (8

though she rejected me to be her boyfie. ):

ABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG Kai Ti.

I don't know why I suddenly press this idiots picture. --'

He's not sexy lah but he's a nice friend. No girl dares to say bad things about he... snake. :p ONLY MEH! Cause I'm cool like that. (8 I love slapping his face and he is very very afraid of me. I don't know why you all are.

2 in 1? Aaron and Afy.

Aaron ; is the funny raping racist. He's good to talk to, says loads of shit but sometimes what he says make sense. Very troubled I tell you, he loves raping girls. I love him like I love my brothers. :3

Afy ; hold on to your seats cause what I'm about to say is really long about this guy here. Afy is... Afy is one of a kind. Those kind of guys we see in movies, the tough on the outside but nice in the inside. The one we mistake for the bad boy, though I admit Afy is a bad boy *wink. :p He loves girls and girls and boobs. Oops. (: He's the one person you can talk to about life and get an honest to god answer. He makes every problem very easy to solve when obviously they're not. He says things that... that make sense. As much as I want to admit it, he's awesome-er than I am. Awesome-er than any guy I know. I guess? Maybe #4? HAHAHAH! Afy is one extraordinary guy and YES! he's in my sexy list. :3

He's single. (: & He loves danger.

EEH! 2 in 1 again. (8

Alai Syafiqah ; is very cute and yes in my girl sexy list. #3

She's very cuuuuute very very very. hehe! (8 I've known her since primary 2 and she is very... short! :p She seriously is but she's pretty and sexy kali. Nicest person I know too.

Amirin ; oh can't you see? He's very handshuuum. :3 I love him like a baby brother too. He fascinates me in a way I can't explain. He says the cutest things and just by staring at him you'll be like 'awwwww'

He gives good hugs, awesome advices and he looks like a guy with less problems.

to me lah. :p

He's in my #1 sexy list.

Castrine. :3

We haven't met in real life. I mean like person to person luh. (8 But I love her anyway, #4 in my list. She's a nice person and bare in mind, I'm a month I think older than her and she's a senior in high school, like like form 5 or something.

Castrine and I haven't known each other for so long but we sounds like we've known each other for a very long time. I hope to meet her face to face someday. ): I'd like a real hug from her, not virtual hugs.

She wants a Damon Salvatore to sweep her away. :3

Stephanie Chun. (8

My friend, My soul sister, My lover, My babi, My bestfriend.

You seriously don't want me talking about her. It'll go on forever. :p She's awesome, period. #2 in my sexy list.

She's great. She's beautifuuuul. She's funny. She's fragile, so if her boyfriend breaks her, I will too. (8 She gives funny but understandable advices. :3

I can't ask for a better bestfriend. :D

Let's just call him.. J.

I don't know why all of the sudden I pressed the 'save image' then 'upload'

I think I was sleepy.

J. is nice. And he's him.

#2. :p cause he is.

Can't find a photo of xinZaii, Tien & Keng. --'

Soon.

I don't rank my friends okay? Just sexy. BAHAHAHAH!

vee.

what if? :\

There's that thing again with the heart.

It's hurtin' as usual.

Hey awesome people! (8 How is your Sunday so far? Mine was okie okie. I went out with my family, it is Sunday after all. We went to church first then to Kiulap, then to Gaydong, to Kiulap then to Serusop. :3

It looks funny right? BAHAHAHA! (8 Cause cause dad was buying a bag, for his trip back to Philippines! We went from here then back there, it was so tiring like fuck but it was okay. Then we ate at Serusop, Jollibee! Nyahahaha, Dad lanja us. He spent 30 bucks just for our lunch, yep, we eat that much. Then we went to Hua Ho to buy another bag for Dads laptop. :D

After all that we pretty much went home. Then sat here the whole day. I'm supposed to go out with Muz, Muizz, Dhirah, Aaron, Zimah and some people but as usual my parents. OH VELL.

About the blogskin, I actually used it before but I'm going plain and simple at the moment. If you no like, sorry. :p

buuuut you don't have to reblog. :p

I'm gonna make this my blog display picture, if it works. (:

Credits to Angelina's photography skills and Kuya Chong's phone.

Can you? :\

what if you were here? ):

vee.

you don't know, how much I want you.

WO YAO NI.

ZHEN DE YAO NI!

I was suppose to blog like 6 hours ago, I got caught up doing other stuffs. I don't know why it always takes me time to find the mood to blog, and whenever I do have the mood I can't really use the internet. How stupid is that?

Anyway, today test 2 ended. I'm not really happy about it cause if it's one thing that I really hate is getting screwed and fucked up results. I seriously seriously fucking hate results. Though, I guess it is my fault that I get those fucked up results but hey, like I always say, I have a brain a size of a pea. What can a girl do huh?

Everyone was so worked up about me wearing baju kurung today. --' I don't know why but everyone just kept asking and asking. I just of course shrugged. I didn't know why either, I just felt like it and xinZaii told me she was gonna wear it too. What was the harm huh? Barry said I looked like pontianak. bahahaha! Even Frankie had the guts to make fun of me. ):

Me: BYEEE FRANKIE! (:

Frankie: bye! (: -- eh! why you wear baju kurung? convert to muslim ha?

Me: nooooo! :p

Frankie: *laughs hard* selamat hari raya! *extends hands*

Me: fuck you Frankie.

Frankie: bahahaha!

Fuck you lah Frankie. (: I admit, I hate wearing baju kurung's cause the skirt makes it harder for me to run around and rape people. I had to pull up my skirt just so I could chase Kai Ti for slapping me three times today. But he ran away so meaning he's still and forever will be scared of me. I'm so proud of that for some reason. :p

...I made Zimah angry today, I'm sorry. Banar Banar. ):

I accidentally touched and molested Aaron's head today because I thought it was Amirin. Speaking of Aaron and Amirin. I haven't spoken to the rapist in ages, I can't reply any of his text messages since my sexy phone sometimes doesn't wanna send to people. --'

Amirin, they call me madam vieeeeeeeel, I can make your heart rock. (:

By the way, I'm pretty sure that I'll be failing my Mathematics and Physics. I don't have the guts to tell mom nor dad about it. ): I'm such a failure, now you get it? Dad asked me how maths went and I said "meh" he told me that if I failed it's byebye for me.

...I feel really miserable now. why can't I have a day where everything goes right? without me having to worry about anything. ):

I love you, Just you. I don't know you well but I just have that feeling. I saw you in one of my dreams. I want you but you're to far away. Will we work?

Current plurk picture. (((:

I miss Art. ):

I will miss band practices. ):

I'm on chocolate heaven at the moment. ((: 12 more days. 4 more days too. <3

WHAT IS STEPHY & XINZAII PLANNING? WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING READING MY BOOK HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

Just for the fucker Barry. (:

KUSTANG.

sweet like cand-ehh! (8

I need change.

I'm so in love with you. Bahahahahah, you wish. (:
You're just to far away from me. ):

Currently in computer lab 1 doing well you know, being here. :p Nothing interesting has happened yet, the day is just beginning. I hope Thursday will be a goooood day. (:

...I'm gonna wait until 6pm for yer reply. fucking hate timezones. ):

It's coming. Soon. Like really soon. (:
I miss talking to you, don't you get how I feel?

Sitting between Stephy and XinZaii is funny ehhh! (:
<---- Steph iz reading tumblr.
XinZaii is blogging. ---->

I'm so bored and hyper and... HYPERRR! :D
I'll be prolly back like after exams finish like on Saturday. woots! But I still gotta study harder. ): I hate failing.

ASK MEH!

XinZaii, I won't ever find a daddy for you. ((:


I need a huge change in my life.

Sweet like can-dehhh!