I like watching you be you.
I overslept. ._. I fucking overslept. It's probably I slept at 2am, I couldn't sleep even though I was already sleepy. I kept crying and I had to get up countless times. Before anything, I'd like to say;
I'm so so so sorry Jackie!
if I've cause you any trouble today.( though no difference if I go or don't go )
I am, really. I must've made you stress. ): I didn't mean to. Yuh, that's that and now I'm out of things to say cause I haven't really done anything interesting today. I've got tuition later with Dwight at 6.30 till 8.30. Then there's school tomorrow, shiteh. I mean I want to go to school tomorrow but it's Wednesday, you can never know what happens on a Wednesday! D:
We use to talk alot, all the time, remember? Talking about how life sucks and how we're always gonna keep our friendship strong? Now we're like complete strangers again, we both ignore each other and we don't even smile at each other anymore.
Truth is, I miss you, i mean as a friend.
BUT I dont' know why we stopped talking, if it's about the smoking thing. I'm sorry I overreacted. ): I know I don't have the right to tell you what to do or what you can do with your life. I knew you like smoking before but I don't like knowing it. I don't like knowing that my friend, one that I wanted to trust, is killing himself with a stick. A stupid stick. I'm sorry but I've had enough experience of my friends dying cause of that and booze. For whatever reason, I still don't accept that you smoke and I would like to keep it as if you never smoke. It hurts when you're telling me, it's like you're announcing "hey viel, I'm killing myself! isn't that cool!?" It's not funny, if it's about your family, then talk to me. talk to me like we just met today or whenever.
this is stupid, I don't know why I'm doing it. I just saw you today and I was like... looked like he was miserable, i tried smiling but you just kept shooting daggers with your eyes. what's that about?
Anyway, my conclusion for this whatever is... I'm sorry if i did something wrong to ruin what friendship we had. I'm sorry for trying to control you but bare in mind, I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm not saying sorry that I told you I hate you for smoking.
I forgive you. Cause that's what god would want me to do and that's what I need to do. I forgive you for anything but In my opinion, that you wouldn't care about... smoking isn't good and i wish you'd stop.
I miss you. But I'm not asking for us to be friends if you don't want to be anymore. And you also have to say you're sorry. Cause I said so.
I'm pretty much done for now. I'll blog if I got something.
my life would suck, without you and when the stars go blue and I'm all alone, you're the one I wanna be with.
fcker.
