12/10/2010 ♥

Fuck my brain.

Fgk: what is love to you? what is your objective in finding love?

me: what is love to me? to me? I don't know really, I mean, I've had relationships before yeah but whenever a teenager like me, LIKE ME say that "oh, I'm so in love" how do I really know it's love? I don't even know half of the time if I truly mean it when I say it to guys. So in summary, I might have not even experienced love.

X: Ek *coughs* Ek 

S: *laughs*

me: diam. and  to us, we don't really know what our objective is... at first. I mean, how can you be so sure what you want in a relationship? Sometimes when you're in one all you have to worry about is missing that person. I mean for me, I don't really plan relationships or anything.

I've got it bad. Really bad, what if what I'm feeling now isn't real? or if it is? What if it's just another one of those days? or of it's not? I don't want him to be just another guy, I want him to be THE guy. I don't want to have doubts like this and stuff, I hate being confused. I don't like it, at all. It's fucking messing with me. He's been so sweet that it's making me more confused, why do guys always always have to play with our minds and hearts? ;((((

I went to the clinic yesterday since RIPAS would be so traffic if we went there, we also needed to buy dad's gift so clinic in Gaydong was perfect. Doctor said loads of worrying stuff but I won't worry about it, I won't. I don't wanna. I'm scared it'll come true if I think about it. Fuck it.

Then today wasn't really much, Mr. P hated on us again and made Ek stress. I hate it when he's all stressed out, he acts all weird which is not good. Mom says he's {Ek} been breathing way to much Chung Hwa air and to much EnKt influence. ._________________.

I forgot again what I wanted to blog about. FUCK?

Lastly, Happy Birthday Daddyoh!

 I love you and hope you'll always be healthy! <3

refund for the gifts? ;) joke.

12/10/2010 <3

I hate the feelings that you give me. 


vee.