In the biblical creation story the Creator, having formed the first person, immediately declared our social character: "It is not good that man should be alone." Most of us, most of the time, would rather be with anyone than be alone. And when we compare being with anyone to being with a real friend, there is no comparison. The reasons are endless. Seventeenth-century philosopher Francis Bacon noted two tremendously positive effects of friendship: "It redoubles joys and cuts grief in half." How true. Friends make the ordinary running errands or eating lunch, for example, extraordinarily fun. And good friends ease our pain and lighten our heavy load. They also strengthen us, nurture us, and help us grow. And without our knowing, they can even save our lives. Literally.
There's exciting news about having a kindred spirit these days. Not only are friends good for the soul but for the body as well. Friends help us ward off depression, boost our immune system, lower our cholesterol, increase the odds of surviving with coronary disease, and keep stress hormones in check. Half-dozen top medical studies now bear this out. Their findings didn't seem to be influenced by other conditions or habits such as obesity, smoking, drinking, or exercise. The thing that mattered most was friends. What's more, research is showing that you can extend your life expectancy by having the right kinds of friends.
This brings us to a central issue. What are the "right kinds" of friends? What makes a friend "good"? What are "the real" friends? On the other end is "know-it-all friend" who mothers and smothers with unwanted advice but never asks for our input. In short, friends cannot be your family, they can't be your project, they can't be your psychiatrist. But they can be your friends, which is plenty.
Real friends are few. The few real friends we enjoy generally come in one of two forms, both desirable and equally delightful.
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