starlit eyes

I spent 4 fucking hours. 

guess doing what.

trying to figure out why I couldn't log in msn and guess why I couldn't log in, well it's like this. Msn fucking blocked my email, why? FACEBOOK emails to many notifications.

Bloody hell.

Oh shit. I change my mind about wanting to go to school tomorrow, I seriously am changing my mind. I just.. I just ain't up for school even if we aren't going to do any studying. Plus, there's results. God, results. I don't want results at the moment. I'm stressed out with other stuffs and results are just.. please no. 

I'm not waiting for anything to happen cause let's admit it, there's nothing going to happen in our everyday lives. We're normal, teenage people unless of course drama follows you around or you attract it or just want it. whatever, I'm sorry for being a bitchy, negative person here.. I haven't meditated and I'm pissed off. Kind of.

I want to chop her tongue off. bitch. ho'. 

Anyway, I watched inception plenty of times today and I just realized that I love it and I've declared it my favorite (forever favorite) movie film. :)) I've added three new things in my addiction list. Tom Hardy, Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh my, I drool. So now, I go crazy for: tattoos, violins, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo Dicarpio, Greek Gods, Italy, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Kpop, Tom Hardy, Onew and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

Mostly Onew, Ellen Page, Tattoos, Tom Hardy, Italy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. <3

I have to calm the fuck down. I'm talking rubbish, it's the only way. 

favorite. <3

Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

They match, noh?

weird fact ; he was batman?

Tom Hardy!

I LOVE THIS SCENE and that part where he defies gravity. 

"Paradox" bitch.

if you want inception, you need imagination. 

thus the big gun. hee, I love Tom Hardy.

I drool. Joseph is so.. droolable? :p no such word btw.

my laptop dp. <3

I really wish. :p

I should stop before my hand scrolls to the "Insert image" button. Let's see if I wake up tomorrow. :)) Goodnight and oh. HNNNNG! 4chan sucks right? :((

you have starlit eyes. and I miss those eyes.

vee.

whut

WHUT

I should post the song covers I do.

yes or no?

I've been wondering, how do people become CIA? or hitwoman? Do they like just choose or do they just become one. I don't know cause for some reason, I just want to be one. LOL, I'm very very intrigued. I've been having so much dreams and stuff like that. 

and usually, when I dream about things. It happens. It really does. I'm not kidding.

Nothing to blog about, shit. I'm so fucking bored and I've got nothing to do.

I've been learning about Greek gods, meditating, learning Italian other than that..

waiting for Harry Potter, bitch.

I can't wait for Monday. I don't know why.

Maybe when I see you, things don't seem so bad.

vee.

I look to you

why do good things end?

I did chores the whole day,
had a Harry Potter marathon with my baby brother and...
painted my nails. I'm satisfied with this day.





other than that. nothing. 
so much for holiday. 



I can't wait to see you.
vee.

crash and burn

I just can't make you love me 

and it just burns my heart that you can't feel the flame.

look! from that ^...

to this ^.. 

This world must hate me.

I'm not kidding me. Sharon, Steph, X and I planned on going to mall tomorrow but everything backfired. Nothing ever goes the way I want it, I'm like jinxed or something. Anyway, my schedule is like all packed. I barely have time to spend at home, oh shit, mom and dad are gonna give me tantrums about it again.

Results results results are the only thing that's in my mind. Mom said my geography was 52% only, that's paper 1 and paper 2. shit. Don't ask me how she knows but seriously, I lost to Ong and Keng again. :((

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHIT.

I emu a lot and I don't have anything to talk about. 

I want to know who. :(
vee.

words don't come easy.

I just wish I understood you a little more better than I did now.

I'm attracted to you. 

I wonder who.

fuck this shit.

Today was fun. It was, exams ended today but what we all fear is coming. Results. Ugh, results suck and the whole whether you'll retain or not. I don't know, my mind is drowning me with negative thoughts. I've tried NOT thinking about it but it's just.. it's just there.

I summarized what happened today, I think it's a summary? I've never really been good at summaries. 

Exams ended, physics wasn't that bad but I don't think I'll get a high mark. I really should've studied. After exams, around 9am, the bitches and I went to the canteen to.. er, talk. We chatted, laughed and ate then took a walk. We didn't actually take a walk cause Sw saw Sg. The dude with really weird hair, her ex crush? something like that. We made fun of her, ran away and "hid" from her.. at least we tried. Then we just stood at that area.. you know the one where the teachers enter there apartment, beside the Darussalam Hall. Yeah, we stood there, just talking and laughing, singing and shit. It was nice. 

It's our official favorite rendezvous place.

Awhile later, we went to the music room. We sang karaoke, there was plenty of us. It was fun cause everyone was smiling and joking around. A was in his singing mood and his sister just kept.. staring. :p M was being a bitch. I just realized how much I wish to slap him on the face. Sometimes, cause he's such a bitch. He talks like he's so unstoppable. -.- I hate that.

I couldn't go home early, went to Yayasan with mom and teacher Aileen. Bought blouses for teacher Aileen then we went to eat at Jollibee, then went to buy new nail polish at face shop. :)) I saw Vili and Xin Ni too. After that, we just went back and waited for dad. Arrived home and never left my chair.

Oh god, the freedom won't last long. I also decided not to have a debutant. I don't see the idea why I should have one.

Pictures.

she just simply licked my choki choki! D:

SHARONNNNNNNNNNNN!

we were fixing our CD's yesterday. we have so much boxes of CD's now.

BIIIIIIIIIIITCH, posting all my candid shots. This is my revenge.

It was nicer during the morning and afternoon but now, my evening is just not my evening. ): Anyway, I'm going out with my bitches on Friday. Hopefully, finally I get to hang out without any occasion with them. :)) I'm excited. I have so much plans that I'm about to go bananas. :p

Oh and today was just the dumbest day ever. someone asked my dad ; are you ready for this?

"why does your dog hate me?"

seriously? how can you ask this about a dog? you're so dumb! wtf?

Happy Birthday Chok.

I love you boy. :)) very much, and I hope all your wishes come true. I hope you have a blast and more to come. Take care always, god bless and stay awesome. Good luck in O's.

I'm having a hard time not thinking.

vaffanculo.

vee.

needs.

I'm trap.

My thoughts are drowning me. 

I need more meditation. I need more focus. I need more solitary time. I need to know what to do. I need to pray. I need to take a vacation. I need to travel. I need something new. I need life. I need to trust. I need the truth. I need happiness. I need to know me. I need, I need you.

vee.

Attraversiamo

The sweetness of doing nothing. 
I will eat then lose 5 kg.
without forcing myself.

I decided to make a really long, random post today. No, today isn't a special day but I still wanted to do this posts. I don't know what it'll be about and I don't know what I might be talking about but if it, in any way, makes you feel uncomfortable then I'm sorry in advance. I'm sure that I never meant to make you feel that way but this is my property.. so, you get where I'm going.

I've found a word that I can finally stick with, Attraversiamo. It's a Italian word meaning Let's cross over, I actually got it from the Eat, Pray, Love book but something about the word is just so alluring and so mesmerizing. Well, that and Vaffanculo meaning fuck off or fuck you.

One word, Italy.

I'm addicted to Italy. The culture, the people, the statues, the ruins, the foods! oh god, don't get me started on the food and even the language. The way it comes out of the mouth, it's so, it's madness! I can't get it out of my head, whenever I think of taking a trip to Italy... I just, I just go insanely crazy that I don't even remember what I was talking about. Italy, perche? perche? why must your be so addicting?

Someday, I shall conquer Italy like Julius Caesar did.  In a hypothetically cause yeah. :) Someday. 

wish on the well.

stroll Italy during the night.

ride through Sicily on boat and taste it's finest foods. ;)

devour a pizza in Naples. :3

visit the Arch of Constantine. I think that's what it's called. :p

and conquer the Colosseum with Sharon. :)

I want to taste the wine, the chocolate, the gelatos' and the breathe the might-be-polluted air of Italy. I'll go there someday, someday. :)

Personally, I think... beaches are bitches. lolwuht? I'm kidding. I'm rambling shit, seriously. I don't know why this post has to be long and why it has to be today.

Exams are going the same as my last post described it. There's no difference, I'm not sure if I did try my best or if I did want to try at all. I won't be sure till exam results come out but until then, I will only focus on trying to be more positive. I've made a list, list of do's and don'ts. 

Do.
Meditate and pray.
Balance myself.
Study as hard as I can.
Learn Italian.
Learn Italy.

Don't.

Think negative.

Do things I shouldn't.

Forget your Do's.

I'm taking baby steps. I'm no Elizabeth Gilbert but I'll try to do it all, speaking of Elizabeth Gilbert! I've read her book 3 times. Not to brag but, it's a good memoir. She really poured herself into the book and it really went out well. :)))


Pictures during Ate Ivy, Ate Jasmine and Ate Sarah's last day in Brunei. I miss them already. ;(

my ever sisters. :))

Sarah, me, Jasmine and Ivy. 

this one is with James.

I'm sleepy now. vaffanculo! 
if you read this, I'm amazed you haven't left yet. ;) Grazie.
Grazie Mille Carino Sconosciuto! Grazie!

imissyouandicantakeyououtofmymind. :( 

what if you were?

then what?

vaffanculo.
vee.