shut up

What makes you think we're not the same? 

We both want to be extraordinarily different, doesn't that both make us the same?

I saw this picture.. somewhere and this. is. not. okay.

Let me ask you one thing: what's wrong with being gay or being a lesbian or maybe a bisexual or whateversexual? There's nothing wrong with that, I mean I'm catholic true and god only made man and woman but if god didn't judge the gays or the lesbians or the bisexuals and didn't kill them off.. What makes you think you have the right to judge or to kill them off? 

I think gay, lesbians and bisexuals have their own rights and should live the way they want to. I'm sorry but that's just the way I am, no judging.

Anyway, I got my report card today and I have to say.. I'm quite satisfied with what I got. My only huge fail was maths and that was no big surprise. I've been doing that for a looooong time but I promised my parents that next year I'll take tuition and will try getting a higher mark. Which I will do by the way. (A)

I got 8th position in class and no surprise again Keng got 1st followed by Steph. I'm so jealous of smart-ass people. 

I guess that it for the day since nothing else seem to be happening lately, just staying home.. internet, PS3, internet, PS3, television, shower, PS3, internet.. it's pretty much like my holiday routine and will be specially when S and X go for the Christmas holidays. NOOBS!

I know the people who hate me, the people who dislike me, the people who don't give a damn. 

idgaftyvm, so don't rub into my face that you have so much friends.

going out tomorrow with momma, Sharon and Steph. :3 

cause X is leaving.. :(

vee.

never shine again

I'm waiting for a train,

a train that will take me far away,

I know where I hope this train will take me...

but I'm not sure; 

but it doesn't matter.

because it'll take me far away anyway.

Have you ever thought of running away sometimes? or perhaps thought of suicide? I have. I think of it when things get rough and I often do, not just once or twice but more than I can remember. I've pretty much lost count. I'm such a hypocrite you know, I often tell people don't do this and don't do that but I myself do it anyway. That's why I tell people "it's up to you" cause things I say could be lies or in the end I myself would do it.

I'm afraid of myself, I'm afraid to stop and think for a minute because I know my thoughts would get a hold of me and torture me in the very depths of my mind. The negativity would swallow me whole and everything I thought was positive would disappear in a matter of seconds. That's how dangerous my mind is, I admit to myself, no, not just to myself but to everyone who knows me that I am a quite troubled person. For those who have always known, well, kudos.

My brother got his PSR results yesterday, 2A's 2B's 1C. I'm proud of him, he got a much better result than I did. I am ashamed, I don't hide that fact. I'm ashamed that my baby brother was better than his older sister but past is past and there is nothing I can absolutely do about it. I was utterly happy for him, I was but during the night when we went to sleep... I tossed and I turned and just let myself drift deep within my mind. That was a big mistake.

I cried myself to sleep yesterday night, slept at exactly 3AM. You want to know why? of course you don't. 

Just a while ago, X and I were talking about results. I could hear the disappointment bells real loud. My results are all so disappointing, I didn't even get a 60. I know, I haven't been studying well enough and I don't know why either but my maths, 8 over 80, that's something I can't take in. My parents are okay with the 53 and above thing in other subjects but 8, eight, fuck eight. What the hell is the matter with me? 

So you see, it doesn't matter if you got 50 or 40 in maths or whatever subject, I've never passed maths ever since I was primary 5. I've never gotten higher than. period. I don't know if I'm going school tomorrow.

I might not be around after I show my dad my maths, we shall see. 

I don't believe in lost causes.
vee.

starlit eyes

I spent 4 fucking hours. 

guess doing what.

trying to figure out why I couldn't log in msn and guess why I couldn't log in, well it's like this. Msn fucking blocked my email, why? FACEBOOK emails to many notifications.

Bloody hell.

Oh shit. I change my mind about wanting to go to school tomorrow, I seriously am changing my mind. I just.. I just ain't up for school even if we aren't going to do any studying. Plus, there's results. God, results. I don't want results at the moment. I'm stressed out with other stuffs and results are just.. please no. 

I'm not waiting for anything to happen cause let's admit it, there's nothing going to happen in our everyday lives. We're normal, teenage people unless of course drama follows you around or you attract it or just want it. whatever, I'm sorry for being a bitchy, negative person here.. I haven't meditated and I'm pissed off. Kind of.

I want to chop her tongue off. bitch. ho'. 

Anyway, I watched inception plenty of times today and I just realized that I love it and I've declared it my favorite (forever favorite) movie film. :)) I've added three new things in my addiction list. Tom Hardy, Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh my, I drool. So now, I go crazy for: tattoos, violins, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo Dicarpio, Greek Gods, Italy, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Kpop, Tom Hardy, Onew and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

Mostly Onew, Ellen Page, Tattoos, Tom Hardy, Italy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. <3

I have to calm the fuck down. I'm talking rubbish, it's the only way. 

favorite. <3

Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

They match, noh?

weird fact ; he was batman?

Tom Hardy!

I LOVE THIS SCENE and that part where he defies gravity. 

"Paradox" bitch.

if you want inception, you need imagination. 

thus the big gun. hee, I love Tom Hardy.

I drool. Joseph is so.. droolable? :p no such word btw.

my laptop dp. <3

I really wish. :p

I should stop before my hand scrolls to the "Insert image" button. Let's see if I wake up tomorrow. :)) Goodnight and oh. HNNNNG! 4chan sucks right? :((

you have starlit eyes. and I miss those eyes.

vee.

crash and burn

I just can't make you love me 

and it just burns my heart that you can't feel the flame.

look! from that ^...

to this ^.. 

This world must hate me.

I'm not kidding me. Sharon, Steph, X and I planned on going to mall tomorrow but everything backfired. Nothing ever goes the way I want it, I'm like jinxed or something. Anyway, my schedule is like all packed. I barely have time to spend at home, oh shit, mom and dad are gonna give me tantrums about it again.

Results results results are the only thing that's in my mind. Mom said my geography was 52% only, that's paper 1 and paper 2. shit. Don't ask me how she knows but seriously, I lost to Ong and Keng again. :((

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHIT.

I emu a lot and I don't have anything to talk about. 

I want to know who. :(
vee.