help is not here yet.

My credit is expired today but it's slightly confiscated.

I want to marry Jesse McCartney, yeknow? (:

I need one hug. A hug that says 'everything will be alright'

Goodnight.

vee.

I'm a sucker for pretty boys.

(8) Parlez-vous francais? konichiwa! come and move it my way~ (8)

I told mom my maths was a fail, just didn't tell her how much I got. She didn't really tell me much, I guess it's cause it's no shock that I failed maths. It's the combined science that I'm afraid they'll get pissed off at, I mean I'm not giving them my test paper but I'm hoping that the results (for the report card) is a pass. I can't bare another lecture of how I don't study enough. Not that I think they're wrong and I'm right, it's just that... It makes me useless and a failure. I don't like feeling more and more of a failure.

But I guess that's how my life story is suppose to go, grow up and feel slightly like shit.

Nothing much today, even my bestfriends are MIA but oh well. It is a holiday and I'm not suppose to deprived them of their freedom. I'm just saying though, I'm bored. I've been reading way to much emo books.

There is 2 more days till dad comes back, well technically 3 cause he'll be arriving at 1AM which is already Wednesday. I'm hoping not to go to school on that day, just you know, I wanna stay home. I also have to tell him my maths result when he comes back and it's also 5 more days till my birthday. I can't wait for the things I asked him to buy though.

Jesse McCartney is sooo prettay. :3

Ego wants. (8

vee.

It's stupid

"I'm afraid of the future.

Then again who isn't? I'm afraid of many things, you guys think that I'm not. Well it's true, I am afraid of many things. Sometimes that fear helps me survive and also at the same time makes me weak. I'm trying to be stronger, stronger than I am now and forever be strong where no one... no one can put me down."

Viel Sia

I'm thinking about the future.

"I'm really getting tired of your quotes"

Peter Burke, White Collar.

How is your day going so far? Mine is going good, I guess. Stayed home the whole day and drew stuff. That's pretty much it, I was gonna go out Sungkai with Zimah and the others but I had no transport cause as you know my dad is in the Philippines until Wednesday. (8

I decided on giving dad my maths result when he comes back or on Monday either one of those days. He's coming at around 1AM on Tuesday, or something like that. I'm getting ready to say bye to my phone, my internet privileges and my free time at school. ):

I don't like it but I have to, I can't do much about it. I might not always update my blog so I apologize in advance, do leave me messages or questions though. (:

I'm also hoping that it won't ruin my birthday. ): I don't want my parents disappointed on my birthday, it's like feeling my parents regretting ever giving birth to me. If you get what I mean though my parents are forgiving, they might just ground me and push me to study more harder which I WILL TRY to do. My parents don't hold grudges so yeah, I just really want it to be a good 16th birthday.

vee.

then we realize, reality is bigger

If you love somebody, put your hands up

and wish you can give them everything.

26th August 2010

It was that. (: I loved the trip alot, it took half of the stress I had even though I knew that it would all come back after. So let's start from the beginning, we were at school which was my last update and we weren't at all worried or sad. We were very hyper even though I failed my mathematics. ): I got 12 over 50, it doesn't really surprise me since I've gotten lower than that. We just kept on laughing and smiling anyway.

After school, I went ahead to take my stuff and change then headed back to Steph, Sharon and xinZaii then we waited for Auntie Jennifer. (: So while we waited we chit-chatted about stuff like... the hostage taking in the Philippines. Then auntie came to pick us.

We stopped by at Supa Save to buy some junk food for the night, we bought loaaaaaaaaaaads of stuff. Actually, pretty much Steph took most of the food, I just kept saying 'up to you' and her hands acted as if it was magnet. AUTOMATICALLY. >:p We bought our lunch outside of Supa Save, Millennium was on sale. :3 I ate those hot dog burger thing with xinZaii and Steph ate fish burger while Sharon watched. Then we prepared to leave for Steph's house.

We ate at her house, her house is awesome. Been to it alot of time but never actually been inside it. :p We ate there and so did Auntie Jennifer; Sharon, xinZaii and I chit-chatted while Steph prepared to get her stuff and change her clothes.

Off we went to Empire. (8

Arrived at Empire, checked in then settled in.

Auntie: What if this was your school?

*Me, Sharon, Steph & xinZaii stare at each other*

Me: omg, if this was our school--

Steph: we wouldn't mind staying here!

xinZaii: yahhh!

Sharon: like Hogwarts!

HAHAHHAHA, yeah we kept imagining it but unfortunately, it ain't ever gonna happen. ): Anyway, we arrived into our room, got settled in real good. VAINED in the room, it's weird cause I seriously never vained before but what to dooooooo. When a girl is turning sixteen, she just has to. yknow?

...oh Aaron, you say nigga too much! D: HAHAHA, watchin' his video.

Sharon decided to take a shower after auntie left so we waited for her cause we wanted to get out of the room to do something, so we did. We were choosing between bowling or taking a stroll around the beach. Eventually, we chose to go walk around the beach.

strolled.

vained.

vained.

shell hunting.

ran around.

joked.

dipped our feet in the water.

vained.

Then we went back into the room cause we were tired and dinner was almost near, so we slacked around waiting for time to pass. Showered, watched TV and then around 6 plus we went on for dinner. OHMY, dinner was really good. (8

After dinner, went to watch a movie with the gals. We watched Grown Ups... again. :p It was really really good, even though I watched it for the second time; I still kept laughing like fuck man. Then we walked back to the room, waited for xinZaii's parents. Watched the TV and then something something something then xinZaii HAD to go home. ): haihs.

Me and Sharon slept around 11 while Steph slept at 12 midnight. >:p we were planning on staying up late but we were REALLY REALLY sleepy and tired.

27th August 2010

We woke up around 7 or 8AM but I woke up around 5AM cause Steph kept on slapping me with her hands. DAMN HER, she kept pushing me off the bed too. What kind of person sleeps like that? loljk babi, my brothers sleep like that too. I'm very used to it. I still managed to sleep anyway, so that's good enough for me. (;

So I woke up to the sounds that Sharon and Steph were making, sniffing and getting ready to get shower. They were even planning to slap me. >:)

*skip skip skip*

Then we walked to the lobby and took our breakfast. IT WAS SO NYUMMY. :> After our breakfast, Sharon actually dared to go and play the grand piano but not that long cause the waitress there said we weren't allowed to touch it.

HMPF. We took a stroll around the lagoon area and then VAINED. again. (8 got tired so ran back to the room.

*skip* watched, ate PODS, played pillow fight, tickle fight then *skip* took photos and ordered room service. <3>

OH. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. I'm SOOOOOO TIRED. D':

PHOTOS ARE ALL HERE! <-- CLICK!

vee.

someday, take me away.

Type.
Erase.
Type.
Erase.

3rd time I did it now.

This is actually my 3ooth post. Last night would've been my 3ooth post but I didn't bother to come back. I got a little lazy cause I had to take care of Candy and Rafy at the same time. At computer lab at the moment and as usual sitting beside Steph and hiaoZaii xinZaii.

...I'm waiting for time to like fast forward to our time in Empire. Time is kinda running slow right now.

I hope it's gonna be a good day. :3 I need it to be a good day, I need a break for a while. I wish someone could take me away somewhere, anywhere. I just need a break, yknow? And we might get out Mathematics results today. ): I feel like shit even when I haven't received it yet, probably cause I know I'll fail either way.

People are saying that I'm always putting myself down nowadays, which I admit, is quite true but I don't have much choice now do I since I am a failure. See there goes that negative thought again. Tyler said that I've been taking everyone's negativity and giving out my positivity. He says I've been giving alot of it. >:) that's why I love him. He says the sweetest thing ever.

...I'm a silly joke. >.<

I'm gonna head out now, don't know if I'll blog tonight, I promise to take maaaaany pictures with my bitches. HEHE.

I wish.. I wish Steph would just tell me what she's hiding from me. >:(
and to the person who asked me in formspring who I like.. Ask me in person and I'll tell you. (:
Stop running away from me. ): I didn't do anything wrong. I never told you, I deleted 'that' and I just want to be your friend even if it means getting hurt. OKAY?

P.S I'm still in love with you and will always be.
Someday, take me away.

vee.

wish I could rewrite our story.

People said I walked like I was being raped. >:)

Cand-ehhhh! (8

Got our new dog, Candy. >:)

When we arrived home, she settled in one place and was quite shy.

Fed her some stuff. (:

Mom gave her a shower and now she looks brand new. <3> HEHE, so cute ah.

I'll be back. >:p

P.S I'm still not over you. <3

vee.

less afraid.

I believe in the saying, keep your friends closer and your enemies closer.

It's not fun when you're the

last to know

something about your friend

or your goodfriend

and most importantly your bestfriend.

Close enemy?

I use to have moments where I thought everyone revolved around me and should revolve around me. I only realized that wasn't true when people rarely told me about what was happening in their lives and what was happening with anyone. That's when I decided to live in a cave, my own personal world made up in my head. I wouldn't come out cause nobody cared, nobody cared whether or not I was still alive in that world. I started hating everyone around me, anyone that tried entering and polluting that world I lived in. I hated everyone.

...I seriously did. I do from time to time too.

So I do understand how you feel, hiding in your world won't help. Most people think I'm a hypocrite and I keep butting into other people's business but for some reason, I could care less sometimes. It's just that thing I usually do. Help others. I've this thing embedded in my head "Be a little nicer to the world and the world might be nicer to you" and that's it. I try being nice to the world. There's no point in being alone, no point in trying to hide what you feel.

Ever since we met, all you ever did was hide. You were that shy and quiet person, never tried to at least talk. Then for some reason, you hated me and I tried asking myself plenty of times what I did wrong.

...until today.

): I'm sorry. You're not alone, when will you get that? I know you're reading this. I know you'll be seeing this. I'm so so so so sorry. I never knew, I just wished you told me a little earlier.

Don't keep yourself locked in a world that's not real, hiding won't help you... at all.

don't go breakin' it, please? <3

can't wait for my time with Sharon, XinZaii & Stephy (:

vee.